The thing about peeing...

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West Virginia Mule · #1 Post by **West Virginia Mule** » 24 Jan 2010 14:37

The thing about peeing is this: I'm sick of it.

I mean, so much time over the course of a life spent going number one, weeing, whizzing, squirting, taking a leak, tinkling and just plain pissing (if you have to be vulgar about it) has taken its toll. I've had enough and I want to stop. The pipes are old and the routine is stale. It's a great inconvenience and a tremendous burden. I've done my part; I've contributed; I've given all I can give.

I just want it to end so I can enjoy the rest of my life in relative dryness and without the oppressing omnipresence of toilet tyranny.

Mackasfour · #2 Post by **Mackasfour** » 24 Jan 2010 14:51

Try doing it in 0 gravity whilst doing a handstand....

#3 Post by **Orodaran** » 24 Jan 2010 17:43

NP: Frank Zappa - Why does it hurt when I pee

End Of An Era · #4 Post by **End Of An Era** » 24 Jan 2010 21:28

drink less.

ThePKH · #5 Post by **ThePKH** » 24 Jan 2010 21:52

One word: catheter

End Of An Era · #6 Post by **End Of An Era** » 24 Jan 2010 22:09

shit, you win!

mine was two words...

#7 Post by **Led Guardian** » 25 Jan 2010 01:24

I usually find it pretty satisfying.

Mackasfour · #8 Post by **Mackasfour** » 25 Jan 2010 02:58

When I'm busting it's great

Frozen within · #9 Post by **Frozen within** » 25 Jan 2010 16:16

Very few things are as satisfying to me as taking a massive leak on a sunday morning after too many goddamned beers. I wouldn't want to miss that at all.

Andreas · #10 Post by **Andreas** » 25 Jan 2010 20:46

I had a good one after I took the dog for a walk. I had to go before I even did the walking, but I held it back.

The feeling you get when you actually take a leak after waiting so long can only be described as maximum awesomeness...

#11 Post by **Orodaran** » 25 Jan 2010 21:35

Yeah, I don't think women enjoy their pee so much as we men can do

Andreas · #12 Post by **Andreas** » 25 Jan 2010 22:27

I could ask a few random women on the street if that's true

Lilyael · #13 Post by **Lilyael** » 25 Jan 2010 22:28

well, if I may be allowed to butt in, I do find a good pee is quite satisfying, and allows me precious time away from my desk to mull over the finer points of plot and characterisation. It's amazing what comes to me during those few precious moments in the dunny.

Andreas · #14 Post by **Andreas** » 25 Jan 2010 22:39

One down, more to go!

As we say in Holland: one swallow doesn't make summer yet

End Of An Era · #15 Post by **End Of An Era** » 25 Jan 2010 23:27

i say there are basically three important physical reliefs: orgasm, peeing and taking a dump.

#16 Post by **Orodaran** » 25 Jan 2010 23:44

...and sometimes a VERY GOOD peeing can beat a VERY BAD orgasm

alleyesonazarath · #17 Post by **alleyesonazarath** » 26 Jan 2010 03:30

Since most women don't care so much for peeing, maybe all men should share the joy by peeing on them.

Mackasfour · #18 Post by **Mackasfour** » 26 Jan 2010 05:02

^ Lol, that reminds me of Dave Chappelle's parody song. R Kelly's pee on you

Andreas · #19 Post by **Andreas** » 26 Jan 2010 07:53

Yeah... that one's genius

Mackasfour · #20 Post by **Mackasfour** » 26 Jan 2010 08:11

Best black comedian imo

blind-man · #21 Post by **blind-man** » 26 Jan 2010 10:57

I think I took the most reliefing piss of my life yesterday. I left work already feeling like going, but decided to wait until I got home. You know, taking a leak is always good, but nothing beats the satisfaction of doing it in your own toillet. The problem was that the traffic was just horrible. It took me an hour to get home. I thought my bladder was going to explode.

Mackasfour · #22 Post by **Mackasfour** » 26 Jan 2010 12:40

Traffic holdups make pissing pure bliss when you finally do get to your own toilet

blind-man · #23 Post by **blind-man** » 26 Jan 2010 16:05

Mackasfour wrote:Traffic holdups make pissing pure bliss when you finally do get to your own toilet

True, but the fun's over when it starts to fucking HURT!

Metal Fan · #24 Post by **Metal Fan** » 26 Jan 2010 19:07

Nothing's better then talking on the phone while peeing

alleyesonazarath · #25 Post by **alleyesonazarath** » 27 Jan 2010 04:10

Well, crucify me for being a heretic, but I took the most relieving shit yesterday, after walking outside for an hour without having anywhere to go

West Virginia Mule · #26 Post by **West Virginia Mule** » 27 Jan 2010 06:21

alleyesonazarath wrote:I took the most relieving shit

This topic is not about that. You want a shit topic, start one yourself.

t.a.j. · #27 Post by **t.a.j.** » 27 Jan 2010 10:22

I'm going to pee now.

Frozen within · #28 Post by **Frozen within** » 28 Jan 2010 11:38

well, piss off then

Lilyael · #29 Post by **Lilyael** » 28 Jan 2010 22:10

since we're on the subject, can anyone of you lot tell me why men can't seem to get it all in the bog ? I mean, they drip all over the shop. Why !!?? I don't spray the walls when I go - or is that it, you see it as a prime opportunity to mark your territory ?? FFS

End Of An Era · #30 Post by **End Of An Era** » 28 Jan 2010 22:44

Lilyael wrote:since we're on the subject, can anyone of you lot tell me why men can't seem to get it all in the bog ? I mean, they drip all over the shop. Why !!?? I don't spray the walls when I go - or is that it, you see it as a prime opportunity to mark your territory ?? FFS

since we're on the subject, can any lady here tell me why women NEVER go to the toilet alone? I mean, us guys can compare stuff, but what the hell do women need to do that requires assistance?

Lilyael · #31 Post by **Lilyael** » 28 Jan 2010 23:01

I go to the lav alone.
But when..ahem...ladies...go to the toilet together, it's not so one can help the other with her knickers ( because in my experience, they don't wear any ) - it's so they can gossip about this cute guy they've been ogling, or how that bitch in the corner is "asking for it"....etc.

I seem to remember having this discussion here before....?

End Of An Era · #32 Post by **End Of An Era** » 28 Jan 2010 23:02

i don't remember, it's because of my... ehm... what was it again??

Lilyael · #33 Post by **Lilyael** » 28 Jan 2010 23:06

it's because you're doing two things at once

Metal Fan · #34 Post by **Metal Fan** » 28 Jan 2010 23:51

I hate haveing some one else in the bathroom. 'specally when you feel like farting ^_^

End Of An Era · #35 Post by **End Of An Era** » 29 Jan 2010 00:09

Metal Fan wrote:I hate haveing some one else in the bathroom. 'specally when you feel like farting ^_^

farting is the solution. the other person will want to get out of there after you fart

You know, farting when urinating is great. It emphasizes the whole act of peeing, like a statement. Farting while or after peeing is like an exclamation mark. There!! ha-ha!

Sleeping Dragon · #36 Post by **Sleeping Dragon** » 29 Jan 2010 08:54

yeah, but no sneezing... sneezing while peeing puts you in a very short, split-second dilemma: should i stop peeing for the duration of the sneez or should i just risk it?

Metal Fan · #37 Post by **Metal Fan** » 31 Jan 2010 19:51

End Of An Era wrote:
Metal Fan wrote:I hate haveing some one else in the bathroom. 'specally when you feel like farting ^_^
farting is the solution. the other person will want to get out of there after you fart

You know, farting when urinating is great. It emphasizes the whole act of peeing, like a statement. Farting while or after peeing is like an exclamation mark. There!! ha-ha!

Answer to my problem. *farts*

Credits · #38 Post by **Credits** » 14 Feb 2010 04:34

See, I drink a lot of water, so I have to urinate a lot. Goddamn does it get annoying. =|

Metal Fan · #39 Post by **Metal Fan** » 14 Feb 2010 18:55

Lilyael · #40 Post by **Lilyael** » 17 Feb 2010 00:22

if you are bored at work and there's someone with a bladder problem, leave a tap running. We sued to do that to our art teacher. She'd leave the room to pee, and we'd all fuck off elsewhere.

Metal Fan · #41 Post by **Metal Fan** » 19 Feb 2010 08:07

All you would have to say is 'drip' and my friend would have to pee.

NDS · #42 Post by **NDS** » 20 Feb 2010 14:54

I have to pee right now!

Andreas · #43 Post by **Andreas** » 20 Feb 2010 17:33

Well go to the neighbour's front door then!

West Virginia Mule · #44 Post by **West Virginia Mule** » 10 Sep 2012 08:28

I pee more now than when I started this topic. These days, there's a little hidden "extra" that hides in clandestine fashion somewhere down the tube, biding its time. When I think the proceedings have concluded, it rushes out all gangbusters and tumbles down my leg and puddles in my slippers. When that happens I feel old and disgusting. When that doesn't happen, I still feel old and disgusting. Also, my pee smells like lime margaritas.

Frozen within · #45 Post by **Frozen within** » 21 Sep 2012 19:08

I hate the after-cumming pee, especially when I've had a couple of beers. For one, the lack of control over the flow after climaxing is ever apparent, even without alcoholic beverages. But WITH alcohol it's mostly a weaksauce flow but with peaks at just those moments that I can't correct them. Man, it's just that I think that fucking and drinking is a match made in heaven which prevents me from making the wise decision of fucking sober only

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