The Funny Misheard Lyrics thread

Discuss all things about music other than Blind Guardian here.
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BlackGuardian
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#51 Post by BlackGuardian » 13 Feb 2009 23:19

I'm not crazy...

Helloweenpassionsample

Listen to it for yourself... I actually made it out to be "I'll show more passion than you've ever had..." That was the only combination of words that made any sense that I could pick out of there. But literally it sounds like I posted above...

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#52 Post by BlackGuardian » 15 Feb 2009 20:13

No takers?.... :?

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#53 Post by Led Guardian » 15 Feb 2009 20:50

I don't think that line's even in the clip you posted.
'Nowhere has this renunciation of man's transience been more joyous or uplifting than in the medium of airport carpets.'

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#54 Post by BlackGuardian » 15 Feb 2009 21:20

Oi, what gives...

Let's try again. Here is a much bigger section (almost 1 minute long) around the following set of lyrics...

"I am the one, doom's in my hands
Now make your choice,
Redeemed or enslaved

I'll show you passion and glory
He is the snake
I'll give you power and abundance
He's the corrupter of man...
"

This is the new sample: Passion and glory?

I can't make it any plainer than that. :roll:

The underlined part is by far the part that sounds nothing like the lyrics listed. NOwhere on any lyrics site or CD insert have I seen the lyrics listed any other way. Maybe they're not misheard lyrics, but misprinted lyrics?

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#55 Post by BlackGuardian » 19 Feb 2009 07:22

Sorrowmoon wrote: BG - Punishment Divine
"Are you ready to sing are you ready to sing..."
("Angels sing I hear angels sing..." etc.)
Actual:
"angels sing
(can hear them sing)
I hear angels sing
I hear angels sing
(can hear them sing)..."

I hear:
"I ain't no singer
ain't no singer
ain't no singer...
You ain't no singer
ain't no singer..."

Is Hansi trying to tell us something?
:lol:

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#56 Post by Cerbere » 19 Feb 2009 07:41

not really misheard but made them up for flight of icarus

Fly on your wang,
like a seagull,
fly, touch my balls,
on your wang like SEAGUUUUULL FLYYYYYYY, touch my balls

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#57 Post by Joost » 09 Mar 2009 19:19

Symphony X - Domination:

heard: Hail the walrus
actual lyrics: Hail the horrors
You charge each other for the time and breath it takes to say 'good morning',
But the truth is slowly dawning -- things are getting out of hand,
We all pursue our shattered dreams along the roads to our own ruin --
Watch our empires sink and wash away like castles made of sand.
And so cast off the lies that are your lives and find the truth within.
-- Martin Walkyier

Also, Balrogs have wings.

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#58 Post by Spectrum » 09 Mar 2009 23:04

Joost wrote:Symphony X - Domination:

heard: Hail the walrus
actual lyrics: Hail the horrors
LOL, now I picture the mighty Walrus of Hell leading the fallen angels into battle. :)
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#59 Post by rdyfrde » 28 Mar 2009 00:21

Sonata Arctica's "Don't Say a Word"

I hear:
I place a candy on your chest

What it is:
I place a black candle on your chest

I was close at least :lol:
"And the seer of fish heads said before he went blind"

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Re: The Funny Misheard Lyrics thread

#60 Post by Twister » 12 Oct 2009 12:43

Skyclad - Skyclad,
original: "And so cast off the lies that are our lives..."
misheard: "And so cast off the lies that are your wives..."

Massive Attack - Angel
original: "love you, love you, love you..."
misheard: "yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy..." (Which, combined to the atmosphere and the climax of the song, is hilarious)
"Well, I was about to announce the next song, but I think we'll have to skip it...
Yeah, because we have a pretty sad song here, and you all seem so happy to me...!"

(Hansi Kursch)

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Re: The Funny Misheard Lyrics thread

#61 Post by majesty » 12 Oct 2009 16:07

In Nightwish´s End of all hope I hear some german words:

Hände hoch, Hände flach
(what means in english: "hands up, hands flat")

instead of
End of hope, End of love
The Lights are up,
Now let the play begin!

*Why save the world when you can rule it? And why touch the ground when you can fly away to dreams...?*

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#62 Post by Mackasfour » 12 Oct 2009 16:59

Sonata Arctica - Black Sheep
Not misheard but good from FtSoR
"We're not Iron Maiden, and we're not from England"
"We are Sonata and we come from Finland"
"How easily the mind can be turned to hate from a place of fear - an instinctive, natural, protective response. Instead of focusing on the things that unite us, we focus on what divides us."

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Re: The Funny Misheard Lyrics thread

#63 Post by Mackasfour » 12 Oct 2009 17:01

Another one on black sheep

"Little wittle Black sheep, little wittle me"
"Live with the Black Sheep live with me"
"How easily the mind can be turned to hate from a place of fear - an instinctive, natural, protective response. Instead of focusing on the things that unite us, we focus on what divides us."

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Re: The Funny Misheard Lyrics thread

#64 Post by faery » 16 Nov 2009 14:44

In Blind Guardian's Punishment Divine, Hansi sings:
"Angels sing I hear Angels sing"

And I heard:
"Urang utan, urang utan"

Right.... :roll:

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Re: The Funny Misheard Lyrics thread

#65 Post by Spectrum » 16 Nov 2009 14:48

faery wrote:In Blind Guardian's Punishment Divine, Hansi sings:
"Angels sing I hear Angels sing"

And I heard:
"Urang utan, urang utan"
Haha, this one is awesome.
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Re: The Funny Misheard Lyrics thread

#66 Post by Wicked Child » 16 Nov 2009 16:27

NiIIightfAAAaaaAAlll ... Punk it cracked it and changed us all
NiIIightfAAAaaaAAlll ... Punk it cracked it and changed us all
NiIIightfAAAaaaAAlll ... My tune land lies down in Lego knees
You're going to hell. But not the cool one, that's where I'll go.
You go to the crappy hell.

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Re: The Funny Misheard Lyrics thread

#67 Post by Wicked Child » 16 Nov 2009 16:30

DT - Paul DiAnno

"Watch Jack Sparrow falling, gives no meaning to it all..."

"Watch the sparrow falling, gives no meaning to it all..."
You're going to hell. But not the cool one, that's where I'll go.
You go to the crappy hell.

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Re:

#68 Post by Gends » 16 Nov 2009 23:44

Joost wrote:Symphony X - Domination:

heard: Hail the walrus
actual lyrics: Hail the horrors
In The Serpent's Kiss, before the solo kicks in, I always hear "left Slipknot without a choice instead of what it's saying, "let this leader without a choice" :O.

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Re: The Funny Misheard Lyrics thread

#69 Post by majesty » 09 Dec 2009 17:56

In Gamma Ray´s Solid:

Actual:
"The alien vessels are burning tonight"

Misheard:
"The alien assholes are falling tonight"

...
The Lights are up,
Now let the play begin!

*Why save the world when you can rule it? And why touch the ground when you can fly away to dreams...?*

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Re: The Funny Misheard Lyrics thread

#70 Post by Cerbere » 10 Dec 2009 01:59

Alestorm- To the end of our days

Original- "I raise my fist up to the sky!"
Misheard- "I raise my fist up in this guy!"

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Re: The Funny Misheard Lyrics thread

#71 Post by Spectrum » 10 Jan 2010 14:57

Rhapsody - The Bloody Rage of the Titans
"The orc, my sister, miles under sun..."
("The oak, my sister, smiles at the sun...")

My version makes the song better. It would be cool if the narrator had a sister who was an orc. Luca's real version, OTOH, is just his usual tree-hugging blabla.
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Re: The Funny Misheard Lyrics thread

#72 Post by Arwen Arianna » 10 Jan 2010 17:08

Rhapsody: The Last Angels Call
original: "Seven wizards came from distant lands"
But I can't help it, I always hear "Seven wizards came from Disney Land(s)" :(
"And he shut the doors of his house in the face of the mightiest of all the dwellers in Eä"
Bpgk!
Oh, and by the way.. Hansi is God :)
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Re: The Funny Misheard Lyrics thread

#73 Post by Mackasfour » 13 Jan 2010 03:42

Divide and Devour - Iced earth
Original - Through the folds of time I forged the way
Messiah to my own and sent to slay.

I hear - Through the folds of time I forged the way
Messiah to my own in Santas Sleigh
"How easily the mind can be turned to hate from a place of fear - an instinctive, natural, protective response. Instead of focusing on the things that unite us, we focus on what divides us."

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Re: The Funny Misheard Lyrics thread

#74 Post by Cerbere » 03 Apr 2010 20:42

Blind guardian- when sorrow sang

Normal- The air was filled with tears
Full of sadness and grief

Misheard- The ass filled with tears
Full of sadness and grief

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Re: The Funny Misheard Lyrics thread

#75 Post by Andreas » 03 Apr 2010 22:22

:lol:

Let's proceed in NiME: A Dark Passage.

Real:
dawn passes by
when the day comes

Misheard:
your ass is mine
when the day comes

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Re: The Funny Misheard Lyrics thread

#76 Post by Mackasfour » 04 Apr 2010 05:05

Bahaha, yay for this thread rezz :D
"How easily the mind can be turned to hate from a place of fear - an instinctive, natural, protective response. Instead of focusing on the things that unite us, we focus on what divides us."

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Re: The Funny Misheard Lyrics thread

#77 Post by Desert_Storm » 04 Apr 2010 12:56

I remember such a topic some years ago, when some guy stated that his father came into his room when listening to the script for my requiem, mishearing the lyrics and singing along with the chorus:
We're buuuuurning down a-mericaaaaaaa
:mrgreen: killed me
I, too, am a neat guy. And I, too, am just a love machine
Also, a stupid europeoid with snake primitive language

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Re: The Funny Misheard Lyrics thread

#78 Post by Mackasfour » 04 Apr 2010 15:36

Desert_Storm wrote:I remember such a topic some years ago, when some guy stated that his father came into his room when listening to the script for my requiem, mishearing the lyrics and singing along with the chorus:
We're buuuuurning down a-mericaaaaaaa
:mrgreen: killed me
BAHAHAHAHAHA ROFL, I've been pissing my pants for the past 10 minutes cause of this :mrgreen:
"How easily the mind can be turned to hate from a place of fear - an instinctive, natural, protective response. Instead of focusing on the things that unite us, we focus on what divides us."

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Re: The Funny Misheard Lyrics thread

#79 Post by Mackasfour » 04 Apr 2010 15:38

Now I won't be able to help sing that instead xD
"How easily the mind can be turned to hate from a place of fear - an instinctive, natural, protective response. Instead of focusing on the things that unite us, we focus on what divides us."

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Re: The Funny Misheard Lyrics thread

#80 Post by Desert_Storm » 04 Apr 2010 15:56

We could make it the forum guys' way to recognize each other at concerts :P

Some more quotes from that old topic

A dark passage:
Rise or Fall
A duck tale ends...

Welcome to Dying:
"Have a... sandwich... it's too late for beer."

"also, in "Under the Ice", when it comes to the line "you're the artificial enemy", I hear "you're beyond the fish, my enemy". when my sister heard it she thought it was "you're walking fish around the bees"... :shock:"

""born in a mourning hall"
it was:
"The speaker said with a serious smile"
but I heard:
"we speak of sex with a serious mind" " :mrgreen:

"Now you all know
The bartender song"

""Lord Of The Rings"
Misheard Lyrics:
Crit chiki chik cha
Correct Lyrics:
Threatened a long time"

"goodbye my friend
I'll phone you at the end"

"Niiggghhtt faaaaalll i eat the crepe and change the song "

just to name a few
however, the best one isn't a blind guardian song:
"Slow-motion Walter, the fire engine guy"
It's Deep Purple's Smoke on the Water ;)
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Re:

#81 Post by black tooth grin » 16 Apr 2010 02:03

Cerbere wrote:not really misheard but made them up for flight of icarus

Fly on your wang,
like a seagull,
fly, touch my balls,
on your wang like SEAGUUUUULL FLYYYYYYY, touch my balls
Haha, that is pretty good. Well done.

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Re: The Funny Misheard Lyrics thread

#82 Post by Bender B. Rodriguez » 16 Apr 2010 05:44

Knightrider of Doom wrote:Megadeth Polaris misheard:
"I spread disease like a dog
Discharge my payload a mile high
Rotten nigger of death
wrestles your nostrils"
this wins the trophy :lol:
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Re: The Funny Misheard Lyrics thread

#83 Post by Bender B. Rodriguez » 16 Apr 2010 21:45

Porcupine tree - Piano Lessons
original : I feel now like Christine Keeler
i hear : i feel low like Chris Tequila
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Re: The Funny Misheard Lyrics thread

#84 Post by Andreas » 24 Apr 2010 17:03

Not how I heard it, but my sister's misheard lyrics:

Mirror Mirror on the wall
True hope lies beyond the coast
You're so damned kind can't you see
That the winds will change

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Re: The Funny Misheard Lyrics thread

#85 Post by Dentarthurdent » 25 Apr 2010 00:31

a few days ago, I saw a live recording of a band called Taking Dawn.
They had this one song with the chorus line "Like a revolution". Throughout the song I only understood "out of ammunition" :D
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Re: The Funny Misheard Lyrics thread

#86 Post by Desert_Storm » 25 Apr 2010 14:57

Bender B. Rodriguez wrote:Porcupine tree - Piano Lessons
original : I feel now like Christine Keeler
i hear : i feel low like Chris Tequila
Heard that too :mrgreen:
also before the chorus "take your hands off my wand" instead land^^
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Re: The Funny Misheard Lyrics thread

#87 Post by Sentinel » 27 Apr 2010 23:02

Listening to Sonata Arctica - full moon

original: "A hundred moons or more..."

I constantly hear: " A hundred boobs or more..."

Damn it, and still 2 weeks left until I see my gf again...
Free are those who walk away from setting suns
Free are those who laugh at chains that held them bound
Free are those who conquer in vain but won't stop to run
Battered and down you pick up your pieces
To rise as one!

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Re: The Funny Misheard Lyrics thread

#88 Post by Metal Fan » 21 Jun 2010 21:48

Epica- Another Me In Lack'ech

If you search for enrichment
And injure others


Me

In you're search for enrichment
You did you're elders

:lol:
⋨The Dagor Dagorath, the great final battle at which the forces of the brothers Manwë and Melkor will face one another, and Arda will be unmade.⋩
Is in with Bender on his plan
Blind Guardian wrote:A fairly small but absolutely bravehearted crowd in Tempe has made that a night remember. Marcus(on behalf of the band) says: Thank you:-)

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Re: The Funny Misheard Lyrics thread

#89 Post by Bender B. Rodriguez » 21 Jun 2010 21:53

Sepultura - Mass Hypnosis

Original
Mass Hipnosis
i hear
Max Ispinozis
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Re: The Funny Misheard Lyrics thread

#90 Post by Metal Fan » 21 Jun 2010 22:01

Epica-The Phantom Agony

This is the way to escape from our agitation
And develop ourselves
Use your illusion and enter my dream...


This is the way to escape from our agitation
And deploy ourselves
Use your illusion and enter my dream...
⋨The Dagor Dagorath, the great final battle at which the forces of the brothers Manwë and Melkor will face one another, and Arda will be unmade.⋩
Is in with Bender on his plan
Blind Guardian wrote:A fairly small but absolutely bravehearted crowd in Tempe has made that a night remember. Marcus(on behalf of the band) says: Thank you:-)

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Re: Re:

#91 Post by Cerbere » 22 Jun 2010 17:40

black tooth grin wrote:
Cerbere wrote:not really misheard but made them up for flight of icarus

Fly on your wang,
like a seagull,
fly, touch my balls,
on your wang like SEAGUUUUULL FLYYYYYYY, touch my balls
Haha, that is pretty good. Well done.
Wow,I'm embarrassed my brother did that :oops:

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Re: Re:

#92 Post by spamel » 22 Jun 2010 20:29

Cerbere wrote:Wow,I'm embarrassed my brother did that :oops:
I caught my brother just the other week, logged onto here and just about to start the most embarrassing thread that never was (thank god!). He has no idea about BG and affiliated bands and was gonna start a thread asking if anybody wanted to insert their Demon into my Wizard's sleeve (an obvious pun on Demons and Wizards!) which would have been quite embarrassing and homo erotic! To get your revenge, kick him in the balls!
My mother in law is a Balrog, and I'm telling you, she has wings!

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Re: The Funny Misheard Lyrics thread

#93 Post by Bender B. Rodriguez » 22 Jun 2010 20:41

would've been funny though :lol:
btw,maybe you should just uncheck the little box that says "keep me logged in" or some' like that
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Re: The Funny Misheard Lyrics thread

#94 Post by spamel » 22 Jun 2010 22:42

Bender B. Rodriguez wrote:would've been funny though :lol:
btw,maybe you should just uncheck the little box that says "keep me logged in" or some' like that
That would be the obvious answer. I will rely on the power of intimidation produced by kicking balls!
My mother in law is a Balrog, and I'm telling you, she has wings!

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Re: The Funny Misheard Lyrics thread

#95 Post by Bender B. Rodriguez » 22 Jun 2010 23:13

spamel wrote:
Bender B. Rodriguez wrote:would've been funny though :lol:
btw,maybe you should just uncheck the little box that says "keep me logged in" or some' like that
That would be the obvious answer. I will rely on the power of intimidation produced by kicking balls!
dead rat in teh pillow should teach him not to mess with you.
☢ ☢ ☢ all hail the deathweed ☢ ☢ ☢

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Re: The Funny Misheard Lyrics thread

#96 Post by Metal Fan » 23 Jun 2010 07:50

Dog shit in his shoes...
⋨The Dagor Dagorath, the great final battle at which the forces of the brothers Manwë and Melkor will face one another, and Arda will be unmade.⋩
Is in with Bender on his plan
Blind Guardian wrote:A fairly small but absolutely bravehearted crowd in Tempe has made that a night remember. Marcus(on behalf of the band) says: Thank you:-)

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Re: The Funny Misheard Lyrics thread

#97 Post by Spectrum » 20 Dec 2011 20:34

I just ran across one that was funny enough to necropost:

Song: H.P Lovecraft Historical Society - "We Three Friend of H.P.L. Are"

I heard: "Mind with penis ever bright."
Actual line: "Mind with keenness ever bright."
- Spectrum
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Re: The Funny Misheard Lyrics thread

#98 Post by Spectrum » 11 Dec 2017 20:31

Necropost again!

To the dick
To the dick
To the dick
For the kill


(From "To the Tick" by Souldrinker.)
- Spectrum
Some guy from [url=http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0360.html]the Order of the Stick[/url] wrote:Did someone apply the "Half-Moron" template to your base creature?

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Re: The Funny Misheard Lyrics thread

#99 Post by Catanduva » 20 Sep 2018 17:28

Fall Out Boy - This Ain't a Scene, It´s A Godamn Arm's Race.

It is sung in the chorus: "I'm the leading man, and the lies I weaven are so intricate".

But everybody hears: "I'm an Emo man, and I'm so evil, also into cats".
#@╣#¢%ç @#°#▓®▒▓

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