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The thing about peeing...

Posted: 24 Jan 2010 14:37
by West Virginia Mule
The thing about peeing is this: I'm sick of it.

I mean, so much time over the course of a life spent going number one, weeing, whizzing, squirting, taking a leak, tinkling and just plain pissing (if you have to be vulgar about it) has taken its toll. I've had enough and I want to stop. The pipes are old and the routine is stale. It's a great inconvenience and a tremendous burden. I've done my part; I've contributed; I've given all I can give.

I just want it to end so I can enjoy the rest of my life in relative dryness and without the oppressing omnipresence of toilet tyranny.

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 24 Jan 2010 14:51
by Mackasfour
Try doing it in 0 gravity whilst doing a handstand....

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 24 Jan 2010 17:43
by Orodaran
NP: Frank Zappa - Why does it hurt when I pee

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 24 Jan 2010 21:28
by End Of An Era
drink less.

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 24 Jan 2010 21:52
by ThePKH
One word: catheter

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 24 Jan 2010 22:09
by End Of An Era
shit, you win! :( mine was two words...

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 25 Jan 2010 01:24
by Led Guardian
I usually find it pretty satisfying.

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 25 Jan 2010 02:58
by Mackasfour
When I'm busting it's great :D

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 25 Jan 2010 16:16
by Frozen within
Very few things are as satisfying to me as taking a massive leak on a sunday morning after too many goddamned beers. I wouldn't want to miss that at all.

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 25 Jan 2010 20:46
by Andreas
I had a good one after I took the dog for a walk. I had to go before I even did the walking, but I held it back.

The feeling you get when you actually take a leak after waiting so long can only be described as maximum awesomeness...

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 25 Jan 2010 21:35
by Orodaran
Yeah, I don't think women enjoy their pee so much as we men can do :P

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 25 Jan 2010 22:27
by Andreas
I could ask a few random women on the street if that's true :P

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 25 Jan 2010 22:28
by Lilyael
well, if I may be allowed to butt in, I do find a good pee is quite satisfying, and allows me precious time away from my desk to mull over the finer points of plot and characterisation. It's amazing what comes to me during those few precious moments in the dunny.

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 25 Jan 2010 22:39
by Andreas
One down, more to go!

As we say in Holland: one swallow doesn't make summer yet

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 25 Jan 2010 23:27
by End Of An Era
i say there are basically three important physical reliefs: orgasm, peeing and taking a dump.

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 25 Jan 2010 23:44
by Orodaran
...and sometimes a VERY GOOD peeing can beat a VERY BAD orgasm :mrgreen:

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 26 Jan 2010 03:30
by alleyesonazarath
Since most women don't care so much for peeing, maybe all men should share the joy by peeing on them.

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 26 Jan 2010 05:02
by Mackasfour
^ Lol, that reminds me of Dave Chappelle's parody song. R Kelly's pee on you :P

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 26 Jan 2010 07:53
by Andreas
Yeah... that one's genius :lol:

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 26 Jan 2010 08:11
by Mackasfour
Best black comedian imo

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 26 Jan 2010 10:57
by blind-man
I think I took the most reliefing piss of my life yesterday. I left work already feeling like going, but decided to wait until I got home. You know, taking a leak is always good, but nothing beats the satisfaction of doing it in your own toillet. The problem was that the traffic was just horrible. It took me an hour to get home. I thought my bladder was going to explode.

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 26 Jan 2010 12:40
by Mackasfour
Traffic holdups make pissing pure bliss when you finally do get to your own toilet :D

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 26 Jan 2010 16:05
by blind-man
Mackasfour wrote:Traffic holdups make pissing pure bliss when you finally do get to your own toilet :D
True, but the fun's over when it starts to fucking HURT! :D

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 26 Jan 2010 19:07
by Metal Fan
Nothing's better then talking on the phone while peeing 8)

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 27 Jan 2010 04:10
by alleyesonazarath
Well, crucify me for being a heretic, but I took the most relieving shit yesterday, after walking outside for an hour without having anywhere to go

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 27 Jan 2010 06:21
by West Virginia Mule
alleyesonazarath wrote:I took the most relieving shit
This topic is not about that. You want a shit topic, start one yourself.

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 27 Jan 2010 10:22
by t.a.j.
I'm going to pee now.

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 28 Jan 2010 11:38
by Frozen within
well, piss off then :)

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 28 Jan 2010 22:10
by Lilyael
since we're on the subject, can anyone of you lot tell me why men can't seem to get it all in the bog ? I mean, they drip all over the shop. Why !!?? I don't spray the walls when I go - or is that it, you see it as a prime opportunity to mark your territory ?? FFS

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 28 Jan 2010 22:44
by End Of An Era
Lilyael wrote:since we're on the subject, can anyone of you lot tell me why men can't seem to get it all in the bog ? I mean, they drip all over the shop. Why !!?? I don't spray the walls when I go - or is that it, you see it as a prime opportunity to mark your territory ?? FFS
since we're on the subject, can any lady here tell me why women NEVER go to the toilet alone? I mean, us guys can compare stuff, but what the hell do women need to do that requires assistance?

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 28 Jan 2010 23:01
by Lilyael
I go to the lav alone.
But when..ahem...ladies...go to the toilet together, it's not so one can help the other with her knickers ( because in my experience, they don't wear any ) - it's so they can gossip about this cute guy they've been ogling, or how that bitch in the corner is "asking for it"....etc.

I seem to remember having this discussion here before....?

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 28 Jan 2010 23:02
by End Of An Era
i don't remember, it's because of my... ehm... what was it again?? :?

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 28 Jan 2010 23:06
by Lilyael
it's because you're doing two things at once

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 28 Jan 2010 23:51
by Metal Fan
I hate haveing some one else in the bathroom. 'specally when you feel like farting ^_^

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 29 Jan 2010 00:09
by End Of An Era
Metal Fan wrote:I hate haveing some one else in the bathroom. 'specally when you feel like farting ^_^
farting is the solution. the other person will want to get out of there after you fart :P

You know, farting when urinating is great. It emphasizes the whole act of peeing, like a statement. Farting while or after peeing is like an exclamation mark. There!! ha-ha!

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 29 Jan 2010 08:54
by Sleeping Dragon
yeah, but no sneezing... sneezing while peeing puts you in a very short, split-second dilemma: should i stop peeing for the duration of the sneez or should i just risk it?

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 31 Jan 2010 19:51
by Metal Fan
End Of An Era wrote:
Metal Fan wrote:I hate haveing some one else in the bathroom. 'specally when you feel like farting ^_^
farting is the solution. the other person will want to get out of there after you fart :P

You know, farting when urinating is great. It emphasizes the whole act of peeing, like a statement. Farting while or after peeing is like an exclamation mark. There!! ha-ha!

Answer to my problem. *farts*

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 14 Feb 2010 04:34
by Credits
See, I drink a lot of water, so I have to urinate a lot. Goddamn does it get annoying. =|

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 14 Feb 2010 18:55
by Metal Fan
Lol

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 17 Feb 2010 00:22
by Lilyael
if you are bored at work and there's someone with a bladder problem, leave a tap running. We sued to do that to our art teacher. She'd leave the room to pee, and we'd all fuck off elsewhere.

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 19 Feb 2010 08:07
by Metal Fan
All you would have to say is 'drip' and my friend would have to pee.

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 20 Feb 2010 14:54
by NDS
I have to pee right now! :mrgreen:

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 20 Feb 2010 17:33
by Andreas
Well go to the neighbour's front door then!

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 10 Sep 2012 08:28
by West Virginia Mule
I pee more now than when I started this topic. These days, there's a little hidden "extra" that hides in clandestine fashion somewhere down the tube, biding its time. When I think the proceedings have concluded, it rushes out all gangbusters and tumbles down my leg and puddles in my slippers. When that happens I feel old and disgusting. When that doesn't happen, I still feel old and disgusting. Also, my pee smells like lime margaritas.

Re: The thing about peeing...

Posted: 21 Sep 2012 19:08
by Frozen within
I hate the after-cumming pee, especially when I've had a couple of beers. For one, the lack of control over the flow after climaxing is ever apparent, even without alcoholic beverages. But WITH alcohol it's mostly a weaksauce flow but with peaks at just those moments that I can't correct them. Man, it's just that I think that fucking and drinking is a match made in heaven which prevents me from making the wise decision of fucking sober only :(