If Heaven exists....

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Bender B. Rodriguez
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If Heaven exists....

#1 Post by Bender B. Rodriguez » 30 Oct 2009 05:15

what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
(this is that famous question that bald bearded guy from inside the actors studio asks over and over)

in my case

you asshole,what took you so long?have beer on the house.
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Mackasfour
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Re: If Heaven exists....

#2 Post by Mackasfour » 30 Oct 2009 06:37

Woops, misread the OP lol.... umm idk
Last edited by Mackasfour on 31 Oct 2009 02:39, edited 1 time in total.
"How easily the mind can be turned to hate from a place of fear - an instinctive, natural, protective response. Instead of focusing on the things that unite us, we focus on what divides us."

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Re: If Heaven exists....

#3 Post by t.a.j. » 30 Oct 2009 07:47

"Bazinga!" :shock:
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They say that there's a broken light for every heart on Broadway.
They say that life's a game, then they take the board away.
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Gandalf de Grijze
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Re: If Heaven exists....

#4 Post by Gandalf de Grijze » 30 Oct 2009 09:53

"why am I asking this to myself this time?"
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Belgarion
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Re: If Heaven exists....

#5 Post by Belgarion » 30 Oct 2009 11:57

t.a.j. wrote:"Bazinga!" :shock:
The big bang theory? :)
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Re: If Heaven exists....

#6 Post by ThePKH » 30 Oct 2009 12:52

"You'll wake up in 5, 4, 3..."
I still am the terror that flaps in the night!

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Re: If Heaven exists....

#7 Post by t.a.j. » 30 Oct 2009 13:23

Belgarion wrote:
t.a.j. wrote:"Bazinga!" :shock:
The big bang theory? :)
I am found out!
http://www.gedichtblog.de
They say that there's a broken light for every heart on Broadway.
They say that life's a game, then they take the board away.
They give you masks and costumes and an outline of the story
Then leave you all to improvise their vicious cabaret...


Still the goddamn Batman.

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Re: If Heaven exists....

#8 Post by Frozen within » 30 Oct 2009 13:39

What I'd like him to say is : Wanna play some football ?

What he'll prolly say is : "Haha, you should see the surprised look on your face, it's fucking brilliant ! Got you good there huh sonny. Now seriously, enter this elevator and ride it all the way down."
Eat more vegetables !

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Raistlin Majere
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Re: If Heaven exists....

#9 Post by Raistlin Majere » 30 Oct 2009 14:05

ThePKH wrote:"You'll wake up in 5, 4, 3..."
LOL!! :lol:

I would expect him to say:
SURPRISE!! You're dead!
Don't worry... It's only for eternity.. It will pass..
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Re: If Heaven exists....

#10 Post by End Of An Era » 30 Oct 2009 18:19

if heaven exists, i will most surely not go there :lol:

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Re: If Heaven exists....

#11 Post by Orodaran » 30 Oct 2009 22:12

*Tries to think about heaven actually existing*

Image


Sorry, that was like division by 0.... even for an hypothetical and imaginary situation :P (and hey, didn't we have a topic like this few weeks ago?)
"There's a time when a man needs to fight and a time when he needs to accept that his destiny's lost, the ship has sailed and that only a fool will continue. The truth is I've always been a fool"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A slight call afar is tempting me, like a whisper sweet or an awful scream; I cannot ignore what I've always been, I'm leaving again - one last time? in my little kingdom I can be what I really wanted to be... The wanderer

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Re: If Heaven exists....

#12 Post by Sleeping Dragon » 01 Nov 2009 17:24

you were supposed to come back 2000 years ago, son. wipe your feet and wash your hands, mom's made dinner.
ᛁᚠ ᚣᚩᚢ ᚲᚪᚾ ᚱᛠᛞ ᚦᛁᛋ ᚣᚩᚢ ᚪᚱᛖ ᛏᚱ00!
*Will not be waking up before 2008*

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Re: If Heaven exists....

#13 Post by Mackasfour » 02 Nov 2009 07:49

Knightrider of Doom wrote: "f**k me" :lol:
It's god why not...
"How easily the mind can be turned to hate from a place of fear - an instinctive, natural, protective response. Instead of focusing on the things that unite us, we focus on what divides us."

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End Of An Era
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Re: If Heaven exists....

#14 Post by End Of An Era » 02 Nov 2009 13:06

Mackasfour wrote:
Knightrider of Doom wrote: "f**k me" :lol:
It's god why not...
OOHHH GOD! YESS YEAHH OOHH GOD FUCK ME!!

something like that? :lol:

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Re: If Heaven exists....

#15 Post by Mackasfour » 02 Nov 2009 13:07

Indeed
"How easily the mind can be turned to hate from a place of fear - an instinctive, natural, protective response. Instead of focusing on the things that unite us, we focus on what divides us."

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Lilyael
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Re: If Heaven exists....

#16 Post by Lilyael » 02 Nov 2009 18:09

I'd want him to say "Fuck off, you know we don't want your sort here, how many times have we got to tell you - and no you can't go there either, now here's an immortality elixir - drink it or else. Loser. *punt*"
.......and you deserve us, Leviathan

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Re: If Heaven exists....

#17 Post by Jabi » 04 Nov 2009 01:37

Raistlin Majere wrote: SURPRISE!! You're dead!
Faith No More? :D
töttöröö

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Mackasfour
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Re: If Heaven exists....

#18 Post by Mackasfour » 04 Nov 2009 07:59

Such a shame you had to leave my favourite country :P
"How easily the mind can be turned to hate from a place of fear - an instinctive, natural, protective response. Instead of focusing on the things that unite us, we focus on what divides us."

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Andreas
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Re: If Heaven exists....

#19 Post by Andreas » 05 Nov 2009 19:11

I think it will be something like "Welcome to dying".

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Re: If Heaven exists....

#20 Post by Bender B. Rodriguez » 05 Nov 2009 19:12

it would be cool that when you arrive the background music is Welcome to Dying over and over :mrgreen:
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Re: If Heaven exists....

#21 Post by Lilyael » 05 Nov 2009 19:14

Andreas wrote:I think it will be something like "Welcome to dying".
for the last time, Hansi is not God !! :mrgreen:
.......and you deserve us, Leviathan

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Re: If Heaven exists....

#22 Post by Bender B. Rodriguez » 05 Nov 2009 19:27

BLASPHEMY!
☢ ☢ ☢ all hail the deathweed ☢ ☢ ☢

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Re: If Heaven exists....

#23 Post by Andreas » 05 Nov 2009 19:28

Lilyael wrote:
Andreas wrote:I think it will be something like "Welcome to dying".
for the last time, Hansi is not God !! :mrgreen:
:shock: And you're telling me now?

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Re: If Heaven exists....

#24 Post by Lilyael » 05 Nov 2009 19:43

yeah - look, I thought everyone knew that Ozzy is God ! :twisted: :mrgreen:
.......and you deserve us, Leviathan

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Re: If Heaven exists....

#25 Post by Orodaran » 05 Nov 2009 20:44

Well, that could make sense. If there's a God and the result of his creation is the kind of world we have, he must be someone like Ozzy after all....
"There's a time when a man needs to fight and a time when he needs to accept that his destiny's lost, the ship has sailed and that only a fool will continue. The truth is I've always been a fool"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A slight call afar is tempting me, like a whisper sweet or an awful scream; I cannot ignore what I've always been, I'm leaving again - one last time? in my little kingdom I can be what I really wanted to be... The wanderer

----------------------
BG news (if you're lazy to check the site) :: You're on Facebook? Look at my photos from concerts, travels and more :: Oh, and since you're at it, check my photos also on 500px

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Re: If Heaven exists....

#26 Post by Gandalf de Grijze » 05 Nov 2009 21:01

indeed, Hansi is too smart to let it all go down teh drain like it goes now
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Lilyael
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Re: If Heaven exists....

#27 Post by Lilyael » 05 Nov 2009 21:51

that's what I thought, my theory being that Hansi is the devil. I mean, if you read the book of Enoch, it's obvious. He disagreed with Ozzy, then Ozzy locked him up in Hell and now only intelligent people end up going there because they're the ones that know what's what :twisted:
.......and you deserve us, Leviathan

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Re: If Heaven exists....

#28 Post by Gandalf de Grijze » 05 Nov 2009 21:55

Actually, i always though god had to be a woman, no normal man would let things go this bad (not even ozzy). only a woman would go multitaks everything and end up doing everything only half or simply wrong

:p
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Re: If Heaven exists....

#29 Post by Orodaran » 05 Nov 2009 21:59

Gandalf de Grijze wrote:Actually, i always though god had to be a woman
Mrs. God, am I right?
That's your real address?
This time it's you
Ready to confess?
Free the masculine world
Cancel their humility

Mrs. God, can it be?
Can you be alike
One dressed to kill
Walk-on-high-heel-bride?
This would state and explain
Why men are sometimes stumbling

Mrs. God, are you there?
Laughing at us is not fair
Mrs. God - can't you see
All that shit you've done to me (and us!)

Mrs. God, may I say
As wild card of my kind
We were so deceived (yeah!)
You'd better left us blind

Mrs. God we are cool
We take it with a smile
But don't be cruel
Let's add it to the file
And in some 100 years
God has always had a beard
"There's a time when a man needs to fight and a time when he needs to accept that his destiny's lost, the ship has sailed and that only a fool will continue. The truth is I've always been a fool"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A slight call afar is tempting me, like a whisper sweet or an awful scream; I cannot ignore what I've always been, I'm leaving again - one last time? in my little kingdom I can be what I really wanted to be... The wanderer

----------------------
BG news (if you're lazy to check the site) :: You're on Facebook? Look at my photos from concerts, travels and more :: Oh, and since you're at it, check my photos also on 500px

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Lilyael
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Re: If Heaven exists....

#30 Post by Lilyael » 05 Nov 2009 22:00

ewll you might be right but that leaves us with the theory that there is no God, at least not any more - if a woman created this mess she'd have the brain to fuck off and not own up to it, not stick around going "duhhh?" like a man...... :wink:
.......and you deserve us, Leviathan

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Re: If Heaven exists....

#31 Post by Gandalf de Grijze » 05 Nov 2009 22:07

a man would take his responsibillity and clean teh mess up he made.. a woman would pretend not to be home..
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Re: If Heaven exists....

#32 Post by Orodaran » 05 Nov 2009 22:10

So, all in all, regardless on the gender, we can agree with that quote from whoever: "God makes a better figure if he doesn't exist" :P
"There's a time when a man needs to fight and a time when he needs to accept that his destiny's lost, the ship has sailed and that only a fool will continue. The truth is I've always been a fool"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A slight call afar is tempting me, like a whisper sweet or an awful scream; I cannot ignore what I've always been, I'm leaving again - one last time? in my little kingdom I can be what I really wanted to be... The wanderer

----------------------
BG news (if you're lazy to check the site) :: You're on Facebook? Look at my photos from concerts, travels and more :: Oh, and since you're at it, check my photos also on 500px

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Re: If Heaven exists....

#33 Post by Gandalf de Grijze » 05 Nov 2009 22:16

intead
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Re: If Heaven exists....

#34 Post by Lilyael » 05 Nov 2009 22:16

Gandalf de Grijze wrote:a man would take his responsibillity and clean the mess up he made.. a woman would pretend not to be home..

yeah, I said my prayers for years but.....no answer, lol.
.......and you deserve us, Leviathan

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Re: If Heaven exists....

#35 Post by Metal Fan » 07 Nov 2009 07:30

diy.
⋨The Dagor Dagorath, the great final battle at which the forces of the brothers Manwë and Melkor will face one another, and Arda will be unmade.⋩
Is in with Bender on his plan
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Re: If Heaven exists....

#36 Post by teo_guardian » 05 Dec 2009 09:29

well if God exists he is not responsible for our world as it is...because by definition of his creation we know
that he left the man kind completely free to do whatever it wants.So if he exists we are responsible for us not him...

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Re: If Heaven exists....

#37 Post by Orodaran » 05 Dec 2009 13:55

teo_guardian wrote:well if God exists he is not responsible for our world as it is...because by definition of his creation we know that he left the man kind completely free to do whatever it wants.
Yeah, the famous "free will": "you can do whatever you want and however you want, but if you do not follow these 10 rules and do not accept a bearded guy as your saviour, you will burn in hell amidst unspeakable sufference and horrors for all eternity forever and ever".

That much of a choice, mh? :roll:
"There's a time when a man needs to fight and a time when he needs to accept that his destiny's lost, the ship has sailed and that only a fool will continue. The truth is I've always been a fool"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A slight call afar is tempting me, like a whisper sweet or an awful scream; I cannot ignore what I've always been, I'm leaving again - one last time? in my little kingdom I can be what I really wanted to be... The wanderer

----------------------
BG news (if you're lazy to check the site) :: You're on Facebook? Look at my photos from concerts, travels and more :: Oh, and since you're at it, check my photos also on 500px

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Re: If Heaven exists....

#38 Post by teo_guardian » 05 Dec 2009 14:14

wrong knowledge upon the subject you have...and the rest 99% of the people

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Re: If Heaven exists....

#39 Post by End Of An Era » 05 Dec 2009 17:20

BS. giving free will but through your rules implying free will is not accepted, just drones and followers are rewarded with heaven :roll:
epic FAIL of most religions.
If he created us with free will included, he should not whine about what becomes of us and his creation. Therefore: your god is flawed.

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Re: If Heaven exists....

#40 Post by Lilyael » 05 Dec 2009 18:36

he's not flawed, he's just a c*nt. Anyway I don't believe he's into free will, look what he did to the angels that wanted to do whatever the hell they like.....
.......and you deserve us, Leviathan

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Re: If Heaven exists....

#41 Post by Orodaran » 05 Dec 2009 18:39

This gives me the idea for a thread I was already thinking about since some time :wink:
"There's a time when a man needs to fight and a time when he needs to accept that his destiny's lost, the ship has sailed and that only a fool will continue. The truth is I've always been a fool"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A slight call afar is tempting me, like a whisper sweet or an awful scream; I cannot ignore what I've always been, I'm leaving again - one last time? in my little kingdom I can be what I really wanted to be... The wanderer

----------------------
BG news (if you're lazy to check the site) :: You're on Facebook? Look at my photos from concerts, travels and more :: Oh, and since you're at it, check my photos also on 500px

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Re: If Heaven exists....

#42 Post by teo_guardian » 05 Dec 2009 21:15

well.these 10 rules are rules that if we follow them nothing will go wrong in the world...
It's like you don't want democracy and you prefer anarchy...democracy has also rules
which would make the world good enough if followed but who follows them...that's why
our world sucks... I like democracy anyway and not anarchy.
this God,if he exists, is fine by me.we are flawed

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Re: If Heaven exists....

#43 Post by Mahoora » 05 Dec 2009 22:21

I'd like god to tell me: Hey dude, it's finally the time for you and me to rock out this place!!
About the other discussion, god simply gave you some rules and said if you follow them, your lives would be mush better and if you won't, it's your problem, you'll probably end up fu**ed up anyway but also if you don't follow the rules nor your "savior" but still able to live a good life you're still welcomed around here!
All those plans and hopes and dreams what happens to them? it's only a handfull of the lucky ones who can look back and say that they even came close.
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Re: If Heaven exists....

#44 Post by End Of An Era » 05 Dec 2009 22:31

the heaven religious people paint, would be a hell for me.

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Re: If Heaven exists....

#45 Post by Lilyael » 06 Dec 2009 12:30

the hell religious people paint would be a heaven for me 8)
.......and you deserve us, Leviathan

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Re: If Heaven exists....

#46 Post by Gandalf de Grijze » 06 Dec 2009 12:38

OOH YEAH... everlasting barbeque!!!!
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End Of An Era
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Re: If Heaven exists....

#47 Post by End Of An Era » 06 Dec 2009 12:49

yeah :D and most of my friends and beloved would be in hell by that time too :lol:

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Gandalf de Grijze
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Re: If Heaven exists....

#48 Post by Gandalf de Grijze » 06 Dec 2009 12:51

indeed..
the only downside is keeping teh beer cold
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Re: If Heaven exists....

#49 Post by teo_guardian » 06 Dec 2009 13:01

Gandalf de Grijze wrote:the only downside is keeping teh beer cold
At least your tea will be fine

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Re: If Heaven exists....

#50 Post by Gandalf de Grijze » 06 Dec 2009 13:02

true

and well, Hertog jan is the only beer i know that is also good when lukewarm
Hansi 24-09-2010 wrote:It's always good to be back in the United States Of The Netherlands
Check out my photography at Steemphoto.com

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