Search found 454 matches

by Hansi Smurf
20 Jun 2011 18:59
Forum: The Slaughterhouse
Topic: Fuck Jews
Replies: 968
Views: 218930

Observing Dragon

It will be quite an emotionally rewarding time, when at long last, Andreas finally causes the Crucifix, for to be very finally affixed, to Sleeping Dragon's very feeble body, via very Real Spikes. I just can't Fuck! I just can't Fuck! The Female Mass just ARE NOT as Smart, Strong, nor as Quick Witte...
by Hansi Smurf
20 Jun 2011 17:46
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: The Official President Obama Discussion Topic
Replies: 285
Views: 87982

Vancouver, Spain & Greece

"The Endocrine Is Rising", indeed, Dr. Wilson! (R.I.P.) And yes, the Axis of the Open-Hand should have typed it's last long, long ago! But now, thanks both to Radio 89.3FM Winnipeg, and the Communion & the Mass, we are all very glad for to plan, via this very, Conspiracy of Literacy, the Massacre of...
by Hansi Smurf
18 Jun 2011 19:16
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: The Official President Obama Discussion Topic
Replies: 285
Views: 87982

What Are Obama & His Mass, Psychologically?

I just happened ta tune inta Canadian Broadcasting Corporation's 89.3FM, and I overheard both the CBC's Commentators, and Barack Obama, selling to All and Sundry, a Devastated Earth, a Collapsed Economy, a Wounded Mass! What the goddamned fuck ARE the rest of you? How can you, the Electorate, contin...
by Hansi Smurf
17 Jun 2011 01:46
Forum: Guardian of the Blind
Topic: Lyrics themes. What would you like BG to sing about?
Replies: 121
Views: 41340

I Wonder If BLIND GUARDIAN Could Ever Be Inspired By:

Da Lench Mob "Guerillas In Tha Mist"? Who wouldn't want ta hear a Pro-German, Pro-Family, Pro-AK-47 Assault Rifle, Pro-Modern Christian Right Wing Fundamentalist & White Power-based Rap Metal LP outta the Lads sometime in the near Future, huh? "Buck Tha Devil", "You & Your Heroes", "Freedom Got An A...
by Hansi Smurf
17 Jun 2011 01:33
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Trailer Park Bards?
Replies: 25
Views: 20309

I Been Happily Corrected By An Anatomy Encyclopedia!

Whew! I thought I was in trouble with me Liver! Then I went to check for myself at the Library, and happily, all my life, where I thought me Liver was, was entirely wrong! Having non-painful Intestinal Cramps at least makes sense ta me, thank God! I do tend ta be eating to many "dangerous" sharps, a...
by Hansi Smurf
16 Jun 2011 01:58
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Goodbye Hansi Smurf
Replies: 51
Views: 24403

Goodbye Psychopaths!

So, Vince McMahon is a Professional Wrestling Dharma! A one dimensional hot-air chimaera, possessed of a border-line personality, zero physical innards, and, an inabilty for to be anything but Vince McMahon, Pro-Wrestling Promoter: unless he dies and his soul is captured by the Axis-Deity Michael, a...
by Hansi Smurf
16 Jun 2011 01:24
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: The Official President Obama Discussion Topic
Replies: 285
Views: 87982

Changing My Mind About Obama Verus Trump

Y'know kids, as usual, I am able for to read, and re-read Obama's linguistic nerve centre, every fucking ugly day of it, and I swear that that sub-man Obama is a raving anti-male, and a fer' sure Medical Psychopath! He keeps evading my demands for to express Obama's Paradise, providing only - "I can...
by Hansi Smurf
16 Jun 2011 00:59
Forum: Otherland
Topic: Comic Books
Replies: 73
Views: 58579

Editorial F-Up Causes Thor Lie!

A letters column within the Keith Pollard/Chic Stone illustrated continuity of "the Mighty Thor", has caused myself for to in an above post, sayeth that the Marvel Odin character, was Marvel's last survivor of a previous Ragnorok, and that all of the present Asgardians, minus Thor himself, were all ...
by Hansi Smurf
14 Jun 2011 20:59
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Trailer Park Bards?
Replies: 25
Views: 20309

Feeling Sorry!!!

:cry: I feel bad for calling out all ya'll that 2nd post up! "Retards" just can't change their own diapers, or even make me really aware of them, after all! It's just that I would have expected Total National Socialization, ie Total Money Equality, several decades back already, and so I get just a l...
by Hansi Smurf
14 Jun 2011 19:55
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: The Official President Obama Discussion Topic
Replies: 285
Views: 87982

The Spiritual Obama Blipped That He Never Heard Of:

The Quantity Theory of Money! This "theory", not a theory at all, to my knowledge of the various Nations Statistical Abilities, this theory propounds the knowledge of the ACTUAL VALUE OF MONEY, as compared to the amount of REAL STUFF that one might actually purchase with money. Now, thanks to the ca...
by Hansi Smurf
13 Jun 2011 18:15
Forum: The Slaughterhouse
Topic: Fuck Jews
Replies: 968
Views: 218930

Botanical Expeditioning

Ah! So we can see now, that "Jew", alone, IS, the proper Scientific Term, for both the Female, and the Male body, of these Pretend Israelites, the Much Reverend, & Much Christianized, Diaspora of Old Western Jewry! Both the Male-appearing, AND the Female-appearing body, of said botanical grouping; b...
by Hansi Smurf
13 Jun 2011 17:53
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Trailer Park Bards?
Replies: 25
Views: 20309

Critical Thinking Overturn

Me? Brutal Baker? Break up with Devastating Donald? Naw! The Killers Tag-Team MUST exist in Probability! It's much to FUN a vehicle for my OWN Post-Revolutionary Values for to ever possibly destroy! Besides - I'd much rather kick Triple H and John Cena's teeth in than Devastating's, any day of the w...
by Hansi Smurf
13 Jun 2011 17:41
Forum: Guardian of the Blind
Topic: Passengers For Life
Replies: 275
Views: 72839

Another BLIND GUARDIAN Vehicle

Whoo-whee! Up this very thread, I mistook "Blastbeat", for "Blastbeast", and have been ruminating upon "Blastbeast", rarely, ever since! Now, my very own, very good pal, the International Ice-Hockey Arena/Giant Robot, Slap-Shot the Autobot, has more to him, than merely the Cyberton Heroes vs. the Ro...
by Hansi Smurf
11 Jun 2011 19:59
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Trailer Park Bards?
Replies: 25
Views: 20309

"Be Careful Of Who You Fall In Love With" - Jim Lahey

Yeah, Trailer Park Supervisor Lahey, I can't help but to agree! I mean, I just broke up the greatest potential tag-team in all of Professional Wrestling, cuz I WILL NOT ASSOCIATE WITH WORKERS, SCHOOLERS, NOR PUNISHERS! (Probable-partner Devastating's an Idiot Tax-Collector - who'll say no to drugs, ...
by Hansi Smurf
09 Jun 2011 20:21
Forum: Site and Forum
Topic: Distributing Hansi Smurf Around The World
Replies: 29
Views: 19910

Fists, Knees & Feet -

"Sieg Heil!", "Sieg Heil!", "Seig Heil!": on shout the gutterances of a Man Named Creator, as He smashes away at an anchored heavy bag, inside the REAL Axis Dojo, somewhere in Universe, but where, even I cannot reveal, tho' as an aside to you the Gentle Reader, to me, the ancient-appearing stone gym...
by Hansi Smurf
08 Jun 2011 21:45
Forum: Site and Forum
Topic: Distributing Hansi Smurf Around The World
Replies: 29
Views: 19910

Sieg Heil!

"Sieg Heil" sounds Martial and Tough and Manly and Courageous! I don't speak much Deutsch, and haven't the foggiest as to what it might mean! ("Five Hello?") However, "On Guard", such as suggested by the Canadian National Anthem, "... We Stand on Guard for Thee..." doesn't Cut the Mustard Inside the...
by Hansi Smurf
04 Jun 2011 22:59
Forum: Guardian of the Blind
Topic: Passengers For Life
Replies: 275
Views: 72839

What If There Was An Alternate Earth...?

(... And Now Return The Feeble Moanings Of One Of "Thou Art's" Own Resting Following! Yes, The Feeble Sqeaking Of That Damned One, Once More Raises Up From Out Of It's Choked And Wretched Throat, There Inside It's Eternal Resting Place, Aboard The Ghost Space-Ship, BLIND GUARDIAN; That Odd & Etherea...
by Hansi Smurf
04 Jun 2011 22:15
Forum: Otherland
Topic: What book are you reading?
Replies: 1390
Views: 534635

Wrestled Right Back Inta Reading!

Did you know that WWE Champion, Bruno Sammartino (1963 - 1972, 1974 - 1978), was so popular a Wrestler during his heydey, that he was asked to, and indeed, attended, a formal visit to see the Roman Catholic Pope? That's from outta the new book on the History of the WWE Championship, and titled that ...
by Hansi Smurf
30 May 2011 23:19
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Goodbye Hansi Smurf
Replies: 51
Views: 24403

Goodbye

I'm taking all of June offa the Forum! In 2 months, I'm taking myself offa "Re-Habilitating Physically", cuz of it! Hansi Smurf Is A Bum, Not God! God Provides Unbreakable Shoes That Never Wear Out, and Tasty Food From Outta Nowhere, and a Solid Gold Box With A Couple of Stone Tableted 10 Law Rule S...
by Hansi Smurf
26 May 2011 19:59
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: The Official President Obama Discussion Topic
Replies: 285
Views: 87982

"Not Hit!"

1st time, (May 26, 2011 U.S.) Anntattarahoni Had Zero Emotional Content But For Smarm & Theft, and that not until right after, "I'm smarter than you!" hypnotics! (I just re-reviewed Anntattarahoni's Message, and it sure did smell like a Conceited, Lower-Life Form ta Me! A REAL Attack, from a REAL IN...
by Hansi Smurf
26 May 2011 19:35
Forum: Site and Forum
Topic: Distributing Hansi Smurf Around The World
Replies: 29
Views: 19910

Metal Fan's Right! (and this is a Literacy Conspiracy)

Sure I wear a 32" inseem, and a 34" waist, probably a 32" waist, technically, I'm shrinking scrawnier by the day! But when I sit, my flab bulges a bit! Metal Fan! I vow for to be Letter Graded "A+ Perfect Trim", by both your own NCAA, and the AAU, and by my own CIAU, before the end of June! Hmmm... ...
by Hansi Smurf
26 May 2011 19:06
Forum: The Slaughterhouse
Topic: The random thoughts thread
Replies: 1685
Views: 416372

Sarah's Boogers!

Y'know, Sarah, Bards, Esses? If you don't know already, Nasal Spray Decongestant works like a Miracle, Ending the Symptoms of Over-Active Mucous, and Swollen Membranes too, in Less than 1 or 2 minutes, with 5 Measly Sprays up the Nose, together with an Accompanying Snort or Two! Me and my Dad use th...
by Hansi Smurf
25 May 2011 19:29
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Trailer Park Bards?
Replies: 25
Views: 20309

Trailer Park Milk Drinking!

3/4's of a Glass of Diet Orange Soda Stir To Remove Excess Bubbles Fill Rest of Glass With Canadian Yellow Brand Reconstituted Powdered Skim Milk Til' Orange White Drink Quickly To Avoid Yucky Seperations YUM! Orange Creamsicle! And during a Day Off? With nothing but this Delicious Drink? I discover...
by Hansi Smurf
25 May 2011 19:16
Forum: The Slaughterhouse
Topic: The random thoughts thread
Replies: 1685
Views: 416372

All Of My Enemies Are Dead!

Ah! Fu Manchu and Dr. Graham Superstar and Karate Master, have all three informed me that Si-Fan, the Star-Warriors, and the entire Axis of the Open-Hand have done their cleaning, so that both the Hollywood Motion Picture Co. AND all of entertainment, have been turned back into sane body, completley...
by Hansi Smurf
25 May 2011 19:00
Forum: Site and Forum
Topic: Distributing Hansi Smurf Around The World
Replies: 29
Views: 19910

Ah, My Metal Fan, My Most Virgin & Purest Bigger-Than!

Yeah, that Type O Strawberry Blonde of the Mind's Eye, can't possibly be Metal Fan - Damned Ghostly Imposters! And Stop Tapping into my, Loud, Easy-To-Tap, Plastic, Closet Doors, yah damned Remote-Viewing Aliens, and then making them brain-blasting fears and anxieties, or I'll call the Military Theo...
by Hansi Smurf
24 May 2011 19:28
Forum: Guardian of the Blind
Topic: Lyrics themes. What would you like BG to sing about?
Replies: 121
Views: 41340

Musical Themes Instead Of Lyrical Themes

I'd love it if BLIND GUARDIAN, would produce an Trad 40 Minute Album full of their "Prog-Metal", but with not a single note of angst, sadness, fear, nor anger: and instead pump out nothing but "Groovy", "Far Out", "Squishy", "Psychedelic" Non-Statacco-Riff Soundage, Man! Very experimental, I figure!...
by Hansi Smurf
24 May 2011 19:00
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Trailer Park Bards?
Replies: 25
Views: 20309

More Trailer Park Bards Grub Ideas!

THANKSGHETTI! Guy Fieri's gonna have this on Special at Johnny Garlic's next Thanksgiving, and maybe everyday, too! It's just Pasta, Turkey, Gravy & Cranberry Sauce, Corn, and Your Very Own Traditional Stuffing Seasonings! YUM! And, if you are a Vegetable Nut, add any other Veggies that you might wi...
by Hansi Smurf
24 May 2011 18:19
Forum: The Slaughterhouse
Topic: The random thoughts thread
Replies: 1685
Views: 416372

Destroy These Kinds Of Thoughts:

Communism Seems Good! You Can't Have Monogamy! Every Womb Belongs To Every Male! There Is No Such Thing As Providential BirthRate Eugenics Amongst The Previous-Thans! Wpg. Mayor Sam Katz Stole That Youthful Wife! There's No Such Thing As The Third Eye And Conception And Making Room, Making Room! Con...
by Hansi Smurf
22 May 2011 21:23
Forum: The Slaughterhouse
Topic: The random thoughts thread
Replies: 1685
Views: 416372

The Final Judgement Of All These Bards & Esses

A Vast Monotheistic Leviathan of Idiocy!
by Hansi Smurf
22 May 2011 21:21
Forum: Otherland
Topic: D&D!
Replies: 89
Views: 55392

Remembering An Old Player-Character From D&D 1985!

Reginald "Kick-Butt" Splut! An Ogre Strong Little Halfling runs at a Monster with a fully set short-spear, while shouting out, "Kickbuuuuuut... (spear enters Monster Belly) "SPLUT!"" The "SPLUT!", of course, is heard via both Reggie's shouted Battle Cry, and heard too, via the Entry Wound gashing! C...
by Hansi Smurf
21 May 2011 19:58
Forum: Otherland
Topic: What book are you reading?
Replies: 1390
Views: 534635

Technically Speaking...

I do not read books any longer, unless I am preparing for to build either Death Magnetic, or Death Transactional. I have completed my Post-Doctorate thesis in all arenas of learning, save Chemistry, Mathematics and Physics, and of course, like all of you, I am able for to understand the teachers edi...
by Hansi Smurf
20 May 2011 21:30
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Freedom
Replies: 38
Views: 19538

The End Of Freedom

I must Re-Iterate, that the very End of Gross Humanity, and the break-up of our Towns, Cities, Communites, and Our Very Ways of Life, and the Establishment of Rule By Technocratic Zoo-Keeping*, would seem to me, to be the most "pleasure of the flesh - oriented" means of Establishing Proper Genetic-S...
by Hansi Smurf
20 May 2011 20:59
Forum: Otherland
Topic: Comic Books
Replies: 73
Views: 58579

The Greatest Comic Book Of All

8) What If v.1 #43 "What If Conan Were Stranded In The 20th Century?" (By Peter B. Gillis & Bob Hall) I'm gonna blow this one for yah readers! Conan escapes an NYC District Courthouse, snapping his hand-cuffs, and performing two full 20ft. leaps - at least: he manages for to tear off the Iron Bars f...
by Hansi Smurf
19 May 2011 22:06
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Freedom
Replies: 38
Views: 19538

Freedom

:shock: Belgarion? Lilyael? Until you both, Weigh and Measure all of your Shits, Pisses, Sweats, Laundries, Calories, Showers, Baths, et al: AND, until you both Vote for Steroids and Gonadatropin, Shaved Physiques, and Plenty of Warm, Fertile and Baby-Making Fucking, and for Rim Birth Deliveries, I ...
by Hansi Smurf
19 May 2011 21:48
Forum: Guardian of the Blind
Topic: Passengers For Life
Replies: 275
Views: 72839

Why Weren't All of Hansi Smurf's Posts Put Here?

So there I wuz, throwing the Runes around about a week ago on some hot mall-weed, and out came dis leetle title, fer the Home Base Band! BLINNDDGUARDDIAN RAAWKKHAARDLLUV (boy, does that ever look a helluva lot better on doodle paper, via free-hand technical inking! Luckily, "Rock Hard Love", rules! ...
by Hansi Smurf
19 May 2011 21:27
Forum: Site and Forum
Topic: Distributing Hansi Smurf Around The World
Replies: 29
Views: 19910

Help? Why?

When yer as Genuine a Cognitive Genius as "Der Schmurff", why wouldst thou recommendest help??? This Board dost needeth help, however! Only 4000 registered users, and still many, many of them, are mere multi-registering spam-bots, and other such Social Irritants! As for "seeking help", however, I me...
by Hansi Smurf
18 May 2011 18:49
Forum: The Slaughterhouse
Topic: Fuck Jews
Replies: 968
Views: 218930

Fuck Jews Must Be Some Coy Hate Right Here!

God! I can't compose anything, about anyone, without the Spiritual No'Am attacking me! "President" in female form hasta be "Presidentess", or No'Am freaks out and causes his very own innards for to bust! No'Am? Those feelings that you ejaculate, and that I am forced for to empathize with, viz my own...
by Hansi Smurf
18 May 2011 18:35
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: The Official President Obama Discussion Topic
Replies: 285
Views: 87982

The Official President Obama Discussion Topic

According to the research, what Darwin meant when he saideth, "the Survival of the Fittest", what he meant, in human terms, was not clubs, guns, nor stature, no! He said himself was that the keys to Human Survivabilty were, "Morality", and "Civility". (Now was that ever some "Jehovah-Nav" at the lib...
by Hansi Smurf
18 May 2011 18:06
Forum: Otherland
Topic: Comic Books
Replies: 73
Views: 58579

XXX Talk Inside Marvel Comics Circa 1984

Daredevil 202 - 214 - "Micah Synn" Micah Synn, irrelevantly I suppose, is a the scion of marooned English Nobility, circa the 1700's, whose colony of savage killers are discovered somewhere in Africa during the 1980's and brought to New York City, whereby they become a feared group of criminals! (Te...
by Hansi Smurf
17 May 2011 20:25
Forum: Site and Forum
Topic: Distributing Hansi Smurf Around The World
Replies: 29
Views: 19910

Distributing Hansi Smurf Around The World

Hey, Administration & Moderators! Is it possible for me to e-mail the "Hansi Smurf" posts, thruout the Global Web-Based Forum Discussions? It should be! Some-but-not-all of "Hansi Smurf" deserves to be at the American CNN, the Canadian CBC, American PBS, the British BBC, Radio Japan, Radio Netherlan...
by Hansi Smurf
17 May 2011 20:13
Forum: Guardian of the Blind
Topic: Lyrics themes. What would you like BG to sing about?
Replies: 121
Views: 41340

Thanks, baocai!

Another vote for BLIND GUARDIAN, "the Air-Dwellers"!

Runescape Gold, reputedly!

A perfect knockout!

Far Out, Bard(ess)!
by Hansi Smurf
17 May 2011 20:08
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Trailer Park Bards?
Replies: 25
Views: 20309

Trailer Park Cuisine & Trailer Park Ethnic Cleansing

:? Freaks, man? I been making sweet & sour sauce, most of my life! 2 cups of sugar 1 cup of water 1 1/2 cup of vinegar 1/4 cup of soy sauce 1/4 cup of ketchup 1-3 tables spoons of ground ginger, depending upon quality brought to a boil and thickened by the usual corn starch in cold water method! But...
by Hansi Smurf
16 May 2011 19:28
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Trailer Park Bards?
Replies: 25
Views: 20309

Trailer Park Boys In Texas!

Yeah, Trailer Park Boys is a Great Show! Good to see Texas and Nova Scotia on the same map, goddammit! "Be careful who you fall in love with" - Jim Lahey: But I really fell in love with it, anyway! Funnily enuff, I fell in love with it at the U of W, right upon the free TV's that are still today att...
by Hansi Smurf
16 May 2011 19:28
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Trailer Park Bards?
Replies: 25
Views: 20309

Trailer Park Boys In Texas!

oops! Sorry!
by Hansi Smurf
14 May 2011 21:44
Forum: Guardian of the Blind
Topic: Lyrics themes. What would you like BG to sing about?
Replies: 121
Views: 41340

Re: Lyrics themes. What would you like BG to sing about?

"My Heart Is Omnipotence"
"My Mind Is Omniscience"
"My Body - Is Imperishable"

"Die! You! Bastards!"


Been their? Done that? When?!?

10-4, Good Buddies!
by Hansi Smurf
14 May 2011 21:40
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Blind Guardian must defend his fans!
Replies: 503
Views: 908215

Can't Dance? Can't Big-Boot? Here's How:

:shock: Dancing is just Marching! Just start raising those knees up while any ole' musical beat is playing, and March! 1.2.3.4. 1.2.3.4. Now, just start adding cross over steps, high knee floursihes, body flows, et al! Now you are all be as good as ANY professional choreographer, ever! Don't let any...
by Hansi Smurf
14 May 2011 21:23
Forum: Otherland
Topic: D&D!
Replies: 89
Views: 55392

D&D VS. S&S

Dungeons & Dragons - watch out! Thanks to being sole property owner of my very own indigineous memory system, I've done the impossible and invented a brand new, and completely original Role Playing Game called: Star-Warriors & Super-Heroes! S&S: obviously, not as catchy in it's abreviated form as D&...
by Hansi Smurf
13 May 2011 19:36
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Blind Guardian must defend his fans!
Replies: 503
Views: 908215

Critical Thinking, Rethought, Plus Bonuses!

:? Gee Whiz! I get home from the Library here on Donald St., and suddenly I'm monogamous, emotionally and intelligently, all over again! Polygamy exists where the Status Of Women is low, in fact! Yeah, Bardesses, I sure do prefer ya'll Unadulterated, Unbastardized, Undyked (Faggoted), and firm in a ...
by Hansi Smurf
12 May 2011 20:08
Forum: Coffee Shop
Topic: Blind Guardian must defend his fans!
Replies: 503
Views: 908215

Blind Guardian & His Fans Must Commit Suicide!

:shock: As anyone reading with an Imagination can tell, a Science Fiction Technocratic Paradise, could have existed yesterday, but pieces-of-shit-to-kill were still the predominant Medical Body aboard our grand & luxury space-ship! It goes like this idiot Mayors, Police, Grant Morrisons! The technol...
by Hansi Smurf
12 May 2011 19:38
Forum: Otherland
Topic: Star Wars Marathon!
Replies: 28
Views: 14994

The Previous Post:

Yah know, Star Wars Psychopaths, while I don't mind the previous post, it is still not the emotionally-fnorded "Clone Wars", as expressed by OB1 Kenobi, during the Kenobi Cave Scene, during "A New Hope", or as I prefer to call it once more, STAR WARS! There was a certain "yucky" feeling inside both ...